Equal
by fuwariin
Summary: Murasakibara only wanted to be his equal, but it's not easy when it's Akashi we're talking about here. Murasakibara/Akashi; Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: Hello! It's been a while since I published any works so I'm not sure if this is something that's even up to par to be published;; This fanfic is dedicated to MuraAka, since it's MuraAka day~

**Disclaimer**: These characters are not mine.

Enjoy~

* * *

Really though, Murasakibara Atsushi never really did able to find his equal back then. He was tall and big and that was what probably kept people from being too overly friendly with him. He was fine though about it back then, since probably he didn't really need friends. At least that was what he believed back then. He got to admit that it was lonely as well as quiet.

When his teacher told him that he needed to join club activities because he seemed too lonely, he really thought that the teacher was stupid. He had only stare and sigh back then, he randomly chose whatever club that he could go to, and he decided that at least he would be useful with his height at the basketball club. His first day was surprising to say the least, he went to the gym but instead was greeted by a very short person compared to himself. He looked around and saw two others, and thought that the other two weren't as short as this red-haired guy standing in front of him.

"Murasakibara Atsushi? The coach told me that you'd be here today." The red-haired guy easily said, no fear in his eyes, no amazement, no awkwardness, but there was something that he couldn't quite place his hands upon. Murasakibara nodded and gripped his bag harder, because he was nervous surprisingly. Never in his life had anyone talked to him casually without any signs of fear or envy. It scared him.

"I'm Akashi Seijuurou, the captain of Teikou's basketball team." He said easily extending his hand forward and Murasakibara took it. He noted how small Akashi's hands were and how it drowned compared to his own, but he also noticed how calloused and rough it felt.

He was baffled really, he thought that a captain of the basketball team would've been taller but he didn't really mind, it was just unexpected though. The captain in front of him blinked up sharply and stared, his gaze unwavering, confident and was very analytical.

"You're almost 2 meters tall are you?" He asked, and if Murasakibara had blinked, he wouldn't have noticed the slight sparkle in the other boys' eyes as he was watching him acutely. Murasakibara yet again only nodded, confused on how to handle these situations since he was never in one whatsoever.

That was how they met though, Akashi quickly arranged that he should practice very hard in order to make use of his height. Akashi set up a special practice for him, to defense and offense if needed. The small boy quickly received a measure of respect from everyone who joined the team, and in itself his orders were precise, correct, demanding and yet always right. That itself, was very respectable.

* * *

The days following his practice days were tiring, at the end of every week Akashi would change their routines and comment on their improvements. Midorima and Aomine both were praised because of their increasing level of strengths and speed. Murasakibara stood there, watching how Akashi talked, how his tone would be gentle when he was praising and his tone would be stern when he told them what they needed to improve on.

"Atsushi." his name was called, and he quickly paid attention. He didn't expect Akashi would sighed and look sternly at him.

"You could've given more effort into it Atsushi, your big size alone won't be enough to be useful to us in the game." Akashi said sternly, his eyes staring. Judging. For the first time in his life, Murasakibara was scared of losing someone. He would follow Akashi everywhere, do everything he asks for, anything. He didn't even know why.

"…okay Akachin." he mumbled, looking away.

* * *

It was Saturday, no one was at school and he came alone. He didn't want to upset Akashi. He couldn't take the look of disappointment that fleeted in the captain's eyes for a split second, and it hurt. He changed his clothes and got the basketball trolley out, but then he heard the gym doors slide open.

"Eh? Atsushi? You're here today, you weren't here last time I was here." Akashi had said, his gym bag sat on his shoulder as he closed the gym doors and made his way to where Murasakibara was. The red-haired male stood in front of him in casual clothes, and Murasakibara noted that this was the first time he saw the captain in them.

"Good job then Atsushi, you'll be better in no time if you keep this up." and Akashi smiled at him. Murasakibara stared, and felt his chest swell with pride and the butterflies started squirming in his stomach. It was intoxicating and he wanted that smile to be for him only, he wanted to monopolize it, make it his alone. He wanted Akashi to be his, wanted to be his equal.

* * *

Murasakibara hugged his jacket tighter around himself and watched his breath created puffs of smoke hinting that it was cold. The phone in his pocket vibrated and he pulled it out, he saw that there was a text message. He opened it in hope that it wasn't from anyone important, after all he was in a very bad mood. Losing was one thing that he never really like, and never able to accept on his own. He lacked that factor of being a good sport long ago.

Approximately yesterday, he lost to Kuroko, whom he never really took seriously since his style of playing was very different than his. Really though, he didn't expect to have that Kagami kid ruin his plans to win and catch up to play against Akashi. After all, he haven't given up on trying to be Akashi's equal.

The only to do that though, was to beat him, have the captain acknowledge him as an equal. He didn't do what he might do though to make the smaller man break, and bow down in front of him for once. He only wanted to be noticed after all, that wasn't so wrong now was it?

Murasakibara opened the text and was barely able to contain his surprised expression when he saw the sender. It was from Akashi, asking how did the game went yesterday. He knew that it was a lie though, Akashi would've known already about the result of the match.

'I lost Akachin.' was the only thing Murasakibara could say, he couldn't even _try_ to lie.

* * *

**AN**: Part two will be up later up soon :)


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: Ah~ I haven't really done anything major and...ugh I still think that they're OOC but okay...

**Disclaimer**: These characters are not mine.

Enjoy~

* * *

'_I see.'_ was what Akashi replied with. He scowled and leaned back on his chair, the shogi board in front of him. Honestly, he did have confidence in Murasakibara, but he was bound to lose sometime in the future anyway. It wasn't a prediction, it was fate. Anyone in the whole entire world will have to lose at some point. Except for himself of course, he calculated everything and predicted every miniscule move that his teammate could make. He couldn't lose. He won't.

* * *

Murasakibara clenched the phone in his hand after he read the short reply from his former captain and thought to himself how unfair everything was. He was dedicated to Akashi, he'd do anything and yet after the separate schools, the other male just seemed so far away and out of reach. Especially with the fact that their school was far away from each other.

He flipped his phone open, and without thinking he wrote a text in reply for Akashi's short one. _'Akachin, can we meet tomorrow?'_ he texted, his fingers movements were almost automatic. The urge to meet Akashi was too much.

He fidgeted as he sat down on a park bench, waiting for Akashi's reply. His eyes unknowingly trailed to the outdoor basketball court that was only a few meters from where he was sitting and he saw some kids playing basketball there. He remembered that he saw Aomine, Kise and Kuroko practice together once or twice there. His thoughts shattered as his phone vibrated once again.

'_Sure.' _he suddenly felt the butterflies squirm once again.

* * *

Murasakibara showed up an hour earlier and he was anxious to say the least. He kept both of his hands hidden inside the pocket of his pants, his right hand kept gripping his phone almost as if he was waiting for it to vibrate. He seemed nervous and kept glancing left and right, watching, observing and waiting.

His face lit up a bit though, when he saw a familiar tuft of red hair peeked out amongst the series of brown and the ever so common black. Akashi waved slightly, and smiled that mischievous smile of his that makes the butterfly in Murasakibara's stomach flutter each time.

They opted to go and have lunch together for the time being, they walked into the café and they ordered. The silence during the wait for their food was almost unbearable for Murasakibara to handle. However, the smaller male just kept staring out the window, dawdling his thoughts and glancing at Murasakibara who was fidgeting quite in bit in his seat. Akashi was analyzing him.

"Akachin." the bigger male started, and those mismatched eyes snapped to stare right into his. The gaze unreadable and yet he didn't avert it and stare right back. He knew he had to get some normalty back into the situation. Question was, how does the description of 'normal' could come even close to someone like Akashi Seijuuro of all people.

"Yes, Atsushi?" the familiar name that came out of Akashi's mouth gave a sense of calmness to him and he relaxed in his seat. His permanent half-lidded eyes gazed at the miss-matched pair that was directly across from his.

"Can we go buy snacks after this?" he asked, and Akashi just stared right back, eyes widening a bit. There was a second or two of the startled atmosphere, but then Akashi smiled and chuckled so quietly that Murasakibara could've missed it if he hadn't looked straight at him.

"Sure Atsushi. Anything for you." mumbled Akashi, and he showed that special smile of his. Murasakibara wasn't sure if the smile was reserved only for him though, but he would like to think so. He would like to imagine that Akashi would only smile like that for him, because it makes him feel good inside.

* * *

Their quiet and short conversation stopped as the waitress came back carrying two plates containing their lunch. Murasakibara eyed Akashi's plate and felt his mouth start to salivate. Akashi's choice of food had always interest the tall man anyway, and yet he never understood why he didn't order it from the beginning.

"Do you want some Atsushi?" Akashi commented, grabbing his fork. Murasakibara started and looked at his formed captain. This was definitely not the first time the captain asked the exact same question to him. Almost every single time they ate together, the smaller boy would ask that since Murasakibara would stare into his meal.

The purple haired boy nodded happily, or as happy as he could look given the circumstances. He opened his mouth and Akashi twisted an amount of pasta onto his fork and lifted it to Murasakibara's awaiting mouth. He chewed slowly, swallowed it, and gave a look of satisfaction in which only Akashi would noticed of course.

* * *

After the food was finished, Akashi ordered some coffee while Murasakibara ordered some strawberry ice cream. As the smaller boy sipped his coffee happily, the other scooped up a bit of the ice cream and a piece of strawberry on his spoon, then brought it close to Akashi's face. The latter blinked up at him, and opened his mouth reflexively.

Murasakibara smiled a bit, in satisfaction, and Akashi chewed the fruit with a look of pure concentration. The ex-captain swallowed and licked the excess juice from the strawberry from his lips. Murasakibara then felt his heart started to beat against his rib cage.

* * *

They left the café together and made their way to the grocery store that was only around the corner. Murasakibara made a bee line towards the snack aisle and Akashi made the courtesy to grab a shopping kart and then followed after the larger boy.

When he got there, as expected, Murasakibara was staring at the assortments of snacks and was probably conflicted about buying everything that was on the shelf in front of him. Akashi cleared his throat and that successfully gained Murasakibara's attention.

"Grab what you want Atsushi." he said in his usual demeanor, and the larger male did just that. While the other were placing things in the cart, Akashi's eyes were fixated on the cans and bottles of beers that were aligned on the shelf up front. He grabbed two cans of the most expensive brand and placed it on the cart, next to Murasakibara's snacks.

"Atsushi, you brought the change of clothes right?" Akashi asked, flicking his gaze to the backpack that was resting on Murasakibara's shoulder. The taller man nodded enthusiastically, and gripped the plastic bags that rested on both of his hands tightly.

"Good." Akashi replied, carrying one bag himself. They walked to the nearest station to get to their destination.

* * *

The train was not crowded at all, it was actually quite vacant and it surprised Akashi actually. He kind of suspected that the train would be crowded since it was at around two in the afternoon. While Murasakibara opened a bag of potato chips, Akashi gazed outside and found calmness in the view that he was seeing from inside the train.

"Akachin." he heard Murasakibara called and focused his attention to the larger male.

"Yes Atsushi?" he replied, and crossed his legs. The other didn't answer though, only stared back at him with those wanting gaze that no one else ever noticed but himself. Akashi cocked his eyes to side a bit, showing signs of confusions before averting his gaze and he unconsciously started to stare at the platform underneath his shoes.

The overwhelming heat was coming back, and he was sure if he kept staring at Murasakibara longer, the other would eventually notice. Akashi's thoughts were brewing inside his head and he didn't even look up when the train stopped.

"Akachin, we're here." Murasakibara said, and only then Akashi would stand up and walk out of the train.

* * *

**AN**: Thanks for reading and reviewing~ I didn't really expect people to review so I'm pretty happy :)


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